you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
