No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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