Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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