you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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