Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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