I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
