Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
