just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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