I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
