omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
This is classic penis vs brain.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
