Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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