need another drink. this is the easiest way
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
