just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
