Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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