He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
