the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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