I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Randomize
