Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
