the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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