why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
