At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
