that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
