so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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