I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
