The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
