I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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