I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
