Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
