Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I think your dad took our porno
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
