hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
