those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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