he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
