I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
