goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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