no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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