HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
third nipple confirmed
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize