Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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