I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
