This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
