maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
