I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
