That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
