Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
