i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Dicks are not precious.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
