My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
