What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
