What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
