when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize