What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
