Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
