She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
