if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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