you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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