oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
