How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
