I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
