Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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