Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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