He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
