He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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