Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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