i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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