They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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