Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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