I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I need to calm my uterus...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
