He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
