i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize