VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
