She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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