FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
