how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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