Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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