me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
