We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dignity is for republicans.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Randomize
