There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
