is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
