my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
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