This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
